"The best thing (and the worst thing) about quitting was discovering I had feelings again".

Well-known recovery observation.

Energy Exchange

Broadly, people experience two different energy states as the chemical compounds that make up Cannabis begin to leave the body.

Some people find their metabolism begins to speed up; they find their appetite diminishes and consistent sleep hard to come by. This can feel like a huge burst of unfocussed almost painful emotional energy.

For others the reverse is true; they have low energy, maybe finding themselves eating more, leaving them feeling sluggish, emotionally depressed, yet also wired due to lack of sleep.

At different times during this adjustment period from heavy weed user to weed free you may well find your energy changing from one state to the other and back again. This should be expected, even though often you just wish things would even out and you were feeling ‘normal’ again.

What your mind and body is doing at this time is slowly beginning to remember what normal actually felt like before you started using weed habitually and heavily.

Let's face it. How could it be any other way? Regular mind altering substance use will have long term effects. The great news is that it is just a question of time - One day at a time. Every day that passes if you don't give in to your old ways your mind and body will slowly start feel more 'normal'

It's technical.

Quitting cannabis affects our internal endocannabinoid system, which includes cannabinoid receptors located both in the brain and some other organs and tissues. Cannabis itself contains compounds called cannabinoids, such as THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol) and CBD (Cannabidiol), that interact with these receptors.

Among other functions our Cannabinoids Receptors affect mood & emotions. If you've been using weed for a long time then the number of these natural receptors will have shrunk due to the continuous presence of the external cannabinoids you've been consuming. Unfortunately it will take time for them to return to their normal function. How long exactly depends on the individual. How much Cannabis you regularly use, for how long and your body type, for example.

Anxiety and Emotional Overload and what you can do about it.

For most people who quit or take a break from Cannabis, mood changes and emotional overload are going to be part of the package. Some people going through this process find their anxiety levels shoot up especially if they have been using weed to try and keep a lid on fearful thoughts and feelings.

If this is you and you've been using weed to calm your anxiety you may have decided to quit because you've come to realise that weed no longer works like it used to and in fact it might now be making the anxious feelings worse. That was certainly my experience.

One problem is that not all Cannabis strains have the same balance of THC - (psychoactive) & CBD - (anxiety reducing) compounds, and if what you have been consuming is top heavy with a THC hit these strains can be highly triggering to those already prone to anxious thoughts and panic attacks.

CBD

Taking a course of pure CBD (now legal in many countries) could be a possible solution for some people dealing with raised anxiety levels after quitting weed. However I strongly suggest you consult with a healthcare professional or addiction specialist first. Someone who can provide guidance on the appropriate dosage and usage taking into account your specific situation and needs.

Additionally, it's important to use high-quality CBD products from reputable sources to ensure safety and effectiveness. The research on the effectiveness of CBD products in general terms and particularly in terms of Cannabis withdrawal are limited but overall I'd recommend CBD as a medical solution over the prescribed SSRI anxiety reducing drugs at this stage anyway. Mainly because you are probably looking for a short term solution.

Support Networks

If you're a facebook member I can recommend the Weedless support group. At the last count this group had 900 members and is probably the best place to get non-judgemental support from others who are going through or have been through your experience of weed withdrawal. This is a private Facebook group but it you are in need it should be an early port of call.

You could also contact Marijuana Anonymous which like all the anonymous fellowships follows the tried and tested 12 step programme. They hold in person meetings in many cities around the world and also run online and telephone meetings.

Sadness

Sometimes as we adjust through the early days and nights of quitting we might find ourselves emotionally overwhelmed and close to tears and we're really not even sure why.

Maybe you've been sitting on sadness for a number of years and have been using weed to keep painful feelings locked away whilst not addressing the underlying issues.

If this is you; could you use some of the money you have been spending on weed to get some therapeutic counselling to explore your feelings and to find some way to help you feel better ?

Speaking to a professional therapist or counsellor about your feelings can be a real investment in yourself. Look around for the right person and take your time. Most therapists offer a free, short initial phone consultation and this is the opportunity to feel each other out. If it doesn't feel right even after an initial session you can try again until you find just the right therapist to work with.

Shedding Tears

Crying can be a powerful release key to your sadness, and emotional pain. There is a very old saying that says "tears cleanse the soul"I like to believe that one but if you're not even sure humans have souls how about this."Grief is satisfied and carried off by our tears". Anyway; generally, shedding tears can offer much needed release from emotions that we find difficult to express in any other way. Yet sometimes, even when we really want to cry it can be difficult. What's stopping us? Can we learn how to cry?

I personally find crying difficult not only because it shows my vulnerability but also because I feel that I am somehow giving in to hopelessness and reverting to being a helpless child. I'm also frightened once I start I will never be able to stop.

And yet when I do allow myself to shed tears it's such a relief. Somehow I've both felt and expressed my pain at it's deepest level and am usually left with hope that I can find a way to move beyond my sadness to something better.

Even when stoned all day every day I used to find myself involuntarily crying for no particular reason. Not sobbing but a few tears would appear spontaneously and run down my face. This could happen quite often, usually when I found myself particularly frustrated with myself and some of the situations I had fallen in to.

When I quit I felt I had many more tears to shed but wasn't comfortable about crying. One day I joined a laughter workshop and literally learned how to laugh to try make myself feel good again. After a while I found myself sobbing. Were these tears from laughter or tears of suppressed sorrow? Who knows but it felt good.

After this whenever I felt a tearful overwhelm building up I kind of allowed myself cry simply by watching some sad movies. Not sure if this will work for you but it still does the trick for me.

When it comes to grief and sadness now more than ever there are excellent free support and information resources available via podcast, Youtube, online support pages and groups.

Regret: a wasted emotion?

Feel Like I've Messed Up No I've Quit Weed

When we make any big changes, especially stopping long-term use of a mind-altering substance it's quite natural to find ourselves negatively reflecting on the direction of our lives and what the future holds. It's also quite natural to think back to the choices and decisions that took us to where we find ourselves in the here and now. This is the nature of regret and it is a wasted emotion because much as we'd like to we can't travel back in time to undo unwise past choices and decisions.

Many (but not all) people who decide to stop using Cannabis do so because some part of life feels like it's not working any more. When this realisation is connected to loss - partners, family, children, work or security for example we may well have strong feelings about the past choices that led us to where we now find ourselves.

Of course the regrets that trouble us at this time will be greatly heightened because we are emotionally vulnerable as we get used to not hiding our heads in a cloud of Cannabis smoke anymore.

A fundamental aspect of the Twelve Step Programme concerns reflecting deeply about past decisions and how they have affected ourselves and others. If this is a direction you feel drawn to then the twelve step fellowships are a great place to do this important work.

The overall approach of the Twelve Step Programme is not for everybody, so if not for you, what other ways are there to work through your regret so that it doesn't become entrenched in your psyche? Here are some thoughts.

As far as possible It's important to try and separate and eliminate feelings of self-blame and self- hatred regarding past decisions.

However much we'd like to change the past, we cannot. What we can do is honour our present moment by acknowledging the reality of where we are and committing to learning positively from past actions and difficult or questionable decisions.

Whilst we are in the business of acknowledging; I'd suggest also acknowledging how difficult it is in the real world to never make any mistakes, to be always right... to be perfect.

Don't run away from these feelings, but don't indulge them either. This is a hard balance to achieve but you can do so by acknowledging how you are feeling and then consciously bringing yourself back to the present moment, and then reflecting on how can you be kind to yourself today? If you find yourself sinking in to sadness and regret learn to be strong enough to say enough is enough for obsessing about the things you cannot change.

If your words and actions have negatively impacted others, what can you do to apologise? Are you ready and able to demonstrate that you have changed? Perhaps you can now help them in small ways that might make a difference? Small is important here. During this period, grand gestures are probably not advisable.

Rather than be consumed by feelings of regret regarding past decisions that may have made our own lives more difficult. I'd suggest we can find great relief by learning to practice kindness in small ways to others whether strangers, or people we already know. Kindness to others will slowly lead to us being less harsh with ourselves. Self-acceptance is such a valuable quality and ultimately very hard to achieve by focussing on our own lives and concerns.

Navigating The Red Mist

It took me years to accept that I was and sometimes still am an angry person. For the first few months after I quit my anger was unpredictable. It is only looking back that I can see my deep frustration had everything to do with the process of quitting and little to do with the situations and people I thought I was angry with. In fact I was angry with myself as I was no longer able to smoke weed and it was my own stupid fault for being 'weak' and not able to control my use.

Sure anger is a legitimate emotion, but it's only healthy for ourselves; and safe for those around us if we learn to

understand its deepest roots and when and how to use it appropriately.

For the first few weeks and months when we first quit we are going to be in a reactive state Small things will irritate and frustrate us.

When we are frustrated if we are not careful we can find that what started as a small problem has grown in to something much bigger because an over-reaction has affected our judgement.

Emotional decisions taken when angry for example can definitely negatively affect an outcome which would have been so much simpler if we could have remained calm. Do we really need to add more unnecessary drama to what is already a uniquely sensitive and vulnerable point in our lives.

So just like letting go of regret if you do explode and say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person and you're beating yourself up afterwards it's important to try not to blame yourself for being emotionally volatile at this time. It's very much part of a process. Self blame will only make you feel worse and more likely to lose control again the next time you are triggered.

However it is important to learn from any over-reaction and a good way of doing this is to swallow your pride and apologise as quickly as possible even if part of you still feels you were wronged. An apology now takes the heat out of the situation and allows you to state your position coolly and calmly at a time of your choosing. And if you don't have a point and you simply lost control you will learn that showing humility, being humble and admitting your over-reaction will make you far stronger and more respected than someone whom others fear and shun.

Now let's think about an angry outburst for a moment.

Did your anger help the situation or make it worse?
Are you angry because you are not looking after yourself, getting enough sleep, rest or eating properly?
If you vented anger to others were you fair to them? If not is it possible to apologise?
Are you angry with others, or are you really angry with yourself and the situation you now find yourself in?
Is there somebody neutral you can talk to who will be honest with you about how you are doing emotionally?
Are you venting anger because it feels easier than admitting difficult emotions such as sadness or fear?
Is depression driving your frustration and anger If so what can you do to treat any underlying depression?

Staying Cool Under Pressure

It's a cliche that you've seen in a thousand movies but deep breathing really does help to calm you down.

When we get angry or stressed our breathing becomes fast and shallow. If you can just notice this one thing next time you feel the rage then truly you can take control by taking one deep breath and exhaling slowly.

And then do it again, and again, and again.

Just by slow steady breathing even for 30 seconds you will begin to change how your nervous system works by signalling to your body that there is no immediate threat. Remember your mind and body are working as one always, even if you don't realise it at the time.

Try and slow breathe for at least a minute or two without thinking. Let go of the situation. Actively clear your mind. If you need to or can; walk away from any confrontation and give yourself a few moments to think clearly about what you want to say and how you want to say it for maximum impact whilst retaining control of yourself and the situation.

Sometimes to simply tell someone that they or the situation you feel that they have caused has made you angry will be enough to focus their attention on working with you to sort out the problem.

If as you calm down you realise your anger is about something else entirely now is the time to walk away.

Say something or nothing but don't pour petrol on to the flames. Later try and think about what you are really angry about and how you can deal with that thing in a mature fashion that helps you to continue feeling good about yourself rather than twisted and guilty.

Angry With The World

Life is not fair it never has been and it never will be. Life is a lottery, life can be too much for us to bear, too sad, too painful and always too unfair. Unfairness can make us very angry. We see powerful people and organisations blindly exploiting their fellow human beings and the planet's resources.

Closer to home we see those we care about suffering physical pain and sickness without the resources to look after themselves properly whilst others, less deserving in our eyes have lifestyles we can only dream about.

We see ignorance intolerance and violence on our streets and on our television screens dressed up as drama

I don't know about you but some of this makes me very angry indeed and was a big contributory factor that kept me smoking weed for so many years. I just couldn't face the reality of life's ugliness and unfairness.

But hiding from life's unfairness cost me. Ultimately weed and my world view stopped me acting and doing anything to help others which I now know is one of the things that gives me happiness and satisfaction. Weed sapped my creativity and just kept my anger at how the world was and is, simmering under my surface. The world is no less ugly since I quit but at least I can face it head on and do some small things that are within my control to make it better for others.

Forgiving Yourself.

Often anger is self-directed whether we are aware of it or not. For years and years the one thing I was certain of was that I didn't like who I was and how I was handling my life. And yes this made me angry with myself.

Now I know that this is very much my experience and not necessarily something you can relate to.

But if this is you even to some small degree I urge you to learn how to find some compassion for yourself.

We're all human, not one of us is perfect least of all in our own eyes. Don't compare your life experience with anyone else's that makes no sense whatsoever.

Instead try and channel any self-hatred in to positive action. Maybe that could be as simple as finding support or giving support to someone else.

Think deeply about what it is that makes you happy and try and do more of it. This could be doing more work or it could be doing less work. This could be helping others or learning some new skill or craft. If money is an issue think creatively how you can hook up with others wanting to do the same thing.

Try and remember you were not put on this earth and to have your life experience to hate yourself. If you can let go of the negativity then you are opening up the space for happier times.

Last Word of Fear

When I was running the Clearhead workshops one participant left her workbook at the end of the weekend. It appeared to be unused but when I flipped it open on the back page I found this wonderful choice of acronyms for fear. Thank you whoever you are.

FE.A.R.

Feel Emotion And Recover | F*ck Everything And Runaway